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The Harboring of Grace- a Testimony

 


What is grace, what is grace, what is grace?


Grace is love, the kind of love that most people don't understand. It is the unconditional, absolutely without fail, without measure. Unlimited forgiveness which incorporates the openness and depth of understanding. It is the faithful consistency of support and strength. It is the soft and the strong, through the light and the darkness.


"Do not worry dear child, you will always be loved, understood, and forgiven." 


Understanding Grace and the way God exemplifies that in the Bible heals so many of the Great human wounds. 

To never feel alone, misunderstood, unheard, unseen, and appreciated, unworthy, shameful, guilty…It's not that I don't still experience these emotions, it's that I soon after remember his grace and open myself to the love to fill me instead. I've called upon it in small ways in the past, but the most impactful was during a group healing session.


We dug into some of the deepest core wounds of us all; self-worth, self-image, and self-esteem. We traveled to a time when they were lost and fragmented from my Self. They had been gone for a very long time, which was a pain and grief of its own, to know, to be validated that I had not had these strongly enabled as part of my being for 20 some years. I had never dug deeply into the why's and could haves in that time of my life. Why would I base my core image and worth on the actions of another? Why would I so easily give of myself so young? 


That day I reimagined what I would have needed that I didn't have; faith, love, and support. I needed a family that could give me Grace. That could have possibly saved me from those pains…But I know better than to dwell on the if only's and could haves. I've been shown endlessly that I am exactly where I am supposed to be and exactly who I am supposed to be, which could not have come about without every little stitch of my past. The little girl that was looking for love and validation in any males arms that were open and willing. So much heartache, you could imagine. But that day in session I was reminded of the profoundly healing nature of god's love. While I sat dead smack in the middle of years of pain and heartache, my body tight and winding in on itself, I was reminded of his grace. And the words echoed in my head, “I can help carry any burden, I can ease any pain. All you need to do is ask, and be open. Accept me into your heart.”  And so I did. And an incredible lightness and warmth sunk down unwinding my body, releasing those tightly clenched pains and heaviness that just moments ago felt crushing. I have been a practicing energy medicine practitioner for probably 5 years, and have always been clairsentient. I've been feeling into different kinds of energies naturally for a very long time but THIS was expressly different and more powerful yet gentle than I've ever felt from anything. 


That was my salvation, for I had spent my life denying the validity of the bible and christianity searching through every other religion and spiritual practice. When you experience truth there is no denying it on a cellular level. That is the day everything changed. That was the day I felt the full presence of his grace.


To be forgiven, loved and understood…



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